It’s a blessing and a curse really.
As I sit here writing this post, I have sixteen tabs open on Google Chrome and my phone is currently open to my Evernote where I write down random thoughts I’m having or possible ideas for future projects. All of this while simultaneously listening to an audiobook by an entrepreneur I’m aspiring to be like.
I know, might sound kind of weird but it’s what I do naturally. It’s what I’ve always done. I’ve done it before I knew what a “type A” personality was. In fact, the first time I heard it was from my college professor during a segment on psychology.
Here’s the definition according to BusinessDictionary.com: A temperament characterized by excessive ambition, aggression, competitiveness, drive, impatience, need for control, focus on quantity over quality and unrealistic sense of urgency.
Yup, sounds pretty accurate.
I’ve never really thought about it too much. But the more I do, I start to see how it really affects actions and decisions I make on a day to day basis. As I look back, I start to notice certain patterns and tendencies that casually just repeat unnoticed. I’ve never really shared these thoughts in depth but I hope that this will expose to another perspective and way of life.
I don’t get…
Type B’s. I have friends that fit this category and I don’t get most of their decisions. I’m sitting there perplexed as I see my Type B friend just sit and relax when all that saved up energy can be used to produce so much in 16 hours! Of course, if I were to say this, they would probably tell me to chill or not take my comment seriously.
I feel as though…
Time is always running so quickly. As if I were in a race and time were speeding steadily just out of reach as I yearn for just a couple more hours. So much I want to do, so much I want to read, so much I want to explore and just not enough time. Even when I have my most productive days, I feel like I could still be doing things more efficiently.
My biggest regret is…
Putting my work before relationships.
“I should really call her”
“I’ll do it tomorrow”
“She’ll still be there”
As a result, relationships dissipate or don’t last very long.
There’s many times I knew I should have made that call but opted not to do so. Upon reflection, I realize there’s so many texts that should have been sent and so many calls that should have been made and now someone who meant so much at one point is now but a stranger only to my Facebook newsfeed or as I scroll down Instagram.
When I don’t meditate or exercise…
I feel the effects of stress. Probably from my own mind racing and thinking of outcomes, possibilities, and scenarios. But, exercises that require me to get out of my head have calmed me down significantly and just after long runs, I feel such an incredible unwavering focus where an almost tunnel vison between me and my work are created.
By now, you might be thinking being a type A sucks but I’m only showing you the downsides. What you don’t know yet, is the times where you feel as though you were born to be an achiever who stops at nothing to achieve goals and realize dreams.
I feel amazing when…
I’m competing. If I know I even have a shot at being numero uno. I’ll take it. The fact that there is a competitor right there at my heels drives me to put forth my absolute best and nothing less. There is no half steppin’. I put it all down, everything. Sure, sometimes it sucks knowing that even my best effort couldn’t get me there but on the other hand, if I do win, it is such a gratifying feeling. It’s almost indescribable in words.
That moment when…
I cross off a task from my to do list is amazing. I had said I wanted to do something and I did it. Such a confidence boost! I feel like if everything went wrong that day, at least I got this one thing done for the day and I’m absolutely happy with that. It also gives me a sense of control knowing that I can have a sense of certainty that what I set out to accomplish today will get done beyond a shadow of a doubt because not only did I decide it will get done but I went out there and did it! I think having that small certainty in my day where there is so much uncertainty is very comforting.
There you have it! A glimpse into my life. Every day I learn to leverage these Type A tendencies to work for me and I learn more about myself. It’s really not so bad and I learned most importantly that it’s more of a blessing than it is a curse.